We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
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