worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Randomize
