Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
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