you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
Randomize
