I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
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