Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
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