Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
