I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Randomize
