ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
Randomize
