Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
Randomize
