My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
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