Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Randomize
