it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Randomize
