Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
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