i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
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