It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
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