dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
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