Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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