Where did you get a picture of my penis
Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Randomize
