Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
Randomize
