So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
