Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Randomize
