i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
