I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
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