There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
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