It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
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