Her vagina should come with caution tape.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
