question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
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