It was confusing and full of hummus
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
