I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
