Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
I want to be your penis for a week.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Randomize
