and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
Randomize
