All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
Randomize
