Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
