Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
Randomize
