Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
