Christians are straight up FREAKS
Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Randomize
