69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
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