But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
Randomize
