Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
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