i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Randomize
