I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
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