That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
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