Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
