i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
You know, be my cock's hype man.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize
