It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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