STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
Randomize
