i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
kristin has been a bad kristin
I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
