his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
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