Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
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