Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
I just want to make out with him forever
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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