Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
